My experience and understanding of humans is that when we feel safe and loved, we grow and choose behaviors that enhance peace and freedom in our lives…. AND…
Life doesn’t always hand us bushels of safety and love. When life brings grief and struggle, we may not know what to do and resort to coping strategies that impact our loved ones in ways that result in dysfunction and pain.
One of my greatest passions in life is to help families move out of stuck patterns of hurt into greater safety, love, and connection.
We all have different ways of learning and experiencing the world, so I offer many ways to engage with new ideas and ways of being with each other. For example, one day, pounding clay may give you and/or a loved one access to feelings of anger and frustration that need safe expression. On another day, you might explore what safe, effective boundaries are by pushing a heavy bag. Perhaps you explore trust with a loved one by taking turns being the person in the swing and the person who is pushing. Some days, even our own bodies may not feel like safe containers for our feelings and thoughts. There are many ways to find greater safety (nervous system regulation) in our bodies. Perhaps a person finds comfort and regulation from being wrapped in a yoga silk or feels a sense of calm with gentle joint squeezes. For others, touch may be dysregulating, but they feel more grounded inside the comfort of a blanket fort.
Teens and adults often express that dealing with social, academic, or work pressures keeps them hovering on overload or just treading water in the deep end.
Working with each person’s nervous system is essential for therapy to be effective. We can fully process difficult things when we can access a parasympathetic (rest & digest) state.
We can’t do effective therapy when our nervous systems are in a sympathetic (stress activation) state. So, we work to find ways that make it safe to be in our bodies throughout the therapeutic process. We may experiment with saying difficult things sitting back to back or get a safer distance from what’s painful by co-creating a fairy tale about our experiences- past and present, and imagining what we want for our future.
Perhaps we can practice good listening skills in fun ways, like tossing bean bags in a game, experience how different each person’s perspective on life is with an observation game, or explore the nature of leadership in the family with parachute games. Some hard things aren’t accessible using playful approaches, while others may be more accessible while having fun. We’ll try things out and find what works each time we meet, making space for how our access to emotions and connection always changes.
At Merry Hearts, we have plenty of indoor space for exploration and self-expression with drawing, painting, clay sculpture, movement, games, storytelling, sand tray therapy, puppetry, dramatic play, etc.
Sometimes, people need to be outdoors to access better self-regulation.
Merry Hearts has chickens and a pet rabbit who are often amazing helpers in nervous system regulation. There is plenty of outdoor space to run and jump when bigger movement is being called for. Sometimes, family members perceive a lack of safety with one another and need even more physical distance than an indoor space can provide to start the process of reconnection. Merry Hearts offers both generous indoor space and plenty of outdoor space.